force-fed john mayer tunes

well, whatever, he's alright. but he falls into the 'neutral music' category...much needed after my iPod abused me on the train ride back from the city. I completely agree with Naima...they have minds of their own. Usually the shuffle is decent and varied, but tonight, every song just kept shoving me deeper and deeper into sentimental/brooding mud. Really, at one point I almost started laughing at how inappropriate my iPod was being.

Anyway. Weird day. Full of highs and lows. (how appropriate that the first line of 'burnt orange' is "walking through this city makes me feel so high and low")

Job-hunt-wise: UH, SHIT. i should give up my idyllic dream of working in a quaint bookshop. no one is hiring.

NYU-Friend-wise: Well, Jeff ditched Stern for Wharton, so he won't be back in the fall. But it's ironic, because Levent transferred into Stern from UVA. Lose a friend, gain a friend, something like that. Whatever.
Also, had dinner (@ downstein, whaaaat) with Jamie. What a cool cat. Oh and saw Margaret...visiting Hayden made me nostalgic like whoa.

Non-NYU-Friend-wise: Saw Stan, saw Naima. Good people. Seeing Naima again tomorrow for bubble tea (and maybe cupcakes? haha) yaaay!

Hair-wise: My hair was surprisingly managable today, thanks to biosilk. I know no one gives a shit, but I thought I needed to put in a bullshit '-wise' in for shits and giggles.


...so...yeah. i'm in a funky mood. and my feet HURT, YO.
i think it's high time to settle down with some junk food (i gave in, sue me), "roman holiday," my trusty red writing pad (donated by mike), and keep the john mayer rolling to keep me distracted.

oh right, holiday

Fuck.

I was hyped about job-hunting on Monday, until Justine reminded me that it was Memorial Day weekend. Which means, the unproductiveness continues for an extra day.

But hey whatever.



At least I went jogging today. Not that one run is going to miraculously whip me into shape, but...baby steps. baby steps. And also, I'm not touching soda/fast food/any other shit food for a while. It seems impossible, but it must be done, because currently I am on a DOWNWARD SPIRAL, my friends.

Randomly picked up the good 'ol Fantasie in C minor, one of my fav Mozarts, and actually stumbled through the entire piece--which I haven't played in about two years. I felt so accomplished, and proud of my fingers for remembering what keys to hit. They were moving on their own, it was bizarre. (We all know I can't sightread)

I think I scarred Stan last night. Actually, I'm sure I scarred him. Desolee. But it was amusing.


OH, and I'm going to bed at a resonable hour (i.e. sometime before the sun comes up). Seriously, I'm going to try and go to bed around midnight or 1 today.

And so begins the slow process of transforming myself into someone who can survive in the real world: getting a job, driving, taking initiaive (this one is a little complex and weird), going to bed early, exercising, cooking.

Haaaah. Let's see how long this lasts.

i am with child

at least it goddamn feels like i am.

GOING JOGGING LATER, I DON'T CARE IF IT'S RAINING.

plans for next week:get a job, try to stay in the city for as many consecutive days as possible, possibly crash in hayden every night if anyone is around (let me know if you're in hayden), call astoria soundworks and set up appointment to see the studio (in queens, but it makes everything MUCH cheaper), work on new pieces, vamp up old pieces and figure out which ones to rerecord, exercise and/or not eat everything in my path (to prevent myself from becoming so heavy that i can only move around in a wheelchair), sondre lerche next sat.

there's something i'm forgetting. shit. shit. whatever.


if anyone knows bassists/drummers/and maybe guitarists, hook me up, yo. for reaaaalz.

the harp is a cool instrument

yawn for emotions. sometimes I get into a mood in which I'm so indifferent, it's probably painful for others.


note to self: try to go to bed before your room is flooded with sunlight at 7 am. although the sleep mask does come in very handy.

Was up doing utterly pointless things, like importing a bunch of classical CDs into my iTunes and finishing a book in one sit. Oh, and downloading a lot of music.
And I randomly found Wilco's "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot" among my CDs, still unopened. I know I never bought it, I think it was a gift. But finding it (along with some kickasssss classical CDs from my dad's collection) was a 5 am treat.


apparently it's nice out today. bye.

ew, carrie underwood

...what a lame excuse of a performer. boo for bad judgment, America.

Went to the recording, which was much x5 more professional than our year and olivia's year...Julia Calabrese's connection finally came through. Everyone had their own mic, the whole place had red lighting (I think the place is a lounge at night) and...yeah. I was a bit jealous, haha. But it was fun, they sounded great, I conducted "Sweet Surrender," the last take of the last track (yay for sentimentality!).
Since our year's recording is going to sound like shit unedited compared to their mixed/produced cd, we've decided to do a compilation. Triple Trio 2005 (polished) and Triple Trio UNPLUGGED 2004. Woooooot! A pseudo-classy way to put unedited music on a cd. It's going to be the bomb diggity, yo.

Saw this year's yearbook, by the waaay. The cover is gorgeous! "A Spence Tale"....it's red with gold borders, and looks just like a fairy-tale book. Adoorable. The captions for all the candids suck ASS though...our grade was much funnier, I have to say.

Went to one of the members' place after the recording with a few of the girls to order in chinese and watch the American Idol finale. Ended up crashing at Wachtels just because I didn't feel like going back to Jersey, blaah. The land of oversized malls, bad hair, and occasionally an undecipherable jersey accent. the worst. I think I have a Jersey rant in every entry. I apologize.




Time to crash with a book and peach arizona iced tea.




p.s - I confess that I am a shallow, narcissistic (sp?) pathetic excuse of a human being who seeks affection that comes in the form of comments on my blog.

And so on that note, I have only two (somewhat sad) words for you all: start commenting!

la valse

Okay so scrap tomorrow's Rachmaninoff concert, it's basically sold out. Which is heartbreaking. I don't know when I'll ever get to see Piano Concerto No.2 performed live (and only by the New York Philharmonic, mind you. I'm very partial.) siighhhh and it was Hans Graf's debut concert. All-Russian repertoire.

However, as always, there is a redeeming light that glimmers far away. Very far away. Next-March-far-away.
Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini" (which is my second fav Rach piece), Ravel "La Valse," which is beautiful, Schubert "Symphony No.5" and a Schoenberg piece that I don't know, "Variations for Orchestra, Op. 31." March 22-25, 2006.
This time, I'm going no matter what! I won't hold out until the last minute waiting for another classical enthusiast only to be disappointed by raised ticket prices and a sold out theatre.

So there.

Went to Cooper Union's final art exhibit to see some of Mike's work yesterday. Saw drawings of Raf everywhere, he must be a popular model!
Saw exactly how sobriety provides for an intensely awkward "mingle"
Had din with Justine and Van @ pane e cioccolato. Afterwards, I cannot express how utterly depressing it was to know that Hayden was 2 minutes away across the park, but that I had to walk by it only to go to the train station that would take me back here. To Jersey.

Aujourd-hui, am deliberating whether or not to go into the city. Triple is recording today, downtown, so I wanted to drop by (and check out the studio, it might be useful next year) but the original plan was to go into the city early today and do some job-hunting. But I woke up late. So I'll go Friday. (Is Friday a bad day to go give resumes out? And is Mon-Fri considered a "full-time" job if the store is open 7 days a week?) Anyway. It's cold and miserable out so I don't know if I want to leave the warm comfortable house. But I probably should.

In fact, I should stop babbling away on this journal and leave right now.

unfortunate bookworm tendencies

I really am such a full fledged nerd.
Observe: I started "The Game," yet another Laurie King novel of her series that Frosch got me hooked on sophomore year, at around 3:30 am. And here I am, 11:09 am, book finished. I just wasn't tired and kept reading until I was finished. (I attempted to sleep at around 5, gave up after 15 minutes, and picked up the book again.)

Damn. I wanted to go jogging and now the fatigue is hitting me. I'll have some tea and toast and see how I'm feeling afterwards.

operation: domestic

Suburbia really does not become me very well.

As I was wandering Fort Lee in what I have labeled my pregnant-Westchester-lady outfit (oversize polo oxford stolen from brother, jeans, flip flops), I stopped at a place to get iced coffee. For $2.25, I recieved a cup full of ice. I was then directed to go and pour myself my own iced coffee and milk. For $2.25?????? Fucking Jersey. And the guy who gave me the cup full of ice had been touching strips of bacon and so the cup was greasy. ewwww. Fucking Jersey. Absolutely nothing to do. I MISS THE CITY. Am tempted to maybe get an apartment after next year...the problem is, I'll be abroad all of junior year so...whatever. I don't know. I just hate Jersey.

However, I have commenced operation: domestic...I managed to hem my own pants today! Bonus points for being uber-domestic and using a sewing machine! But...minus points for that being the highlight of my day. As soon as I finish up this resume, I'm hitting up every store that gives the tiniest hint of possibly hiring me. I'm desperate for a paying job. Desperate.



"I'm convinced that George Lucas has been reading my blogspot."
Oh, Naima...as I'm writing this, you are immersed in hours worth of special features. Marveloussss.



p.s it was sam oh's bday today! he's 15, ahhh he's getting so old.
p.p.s SONDRE LERCHE, WILLIAMSBURG, JUNE 4TH, FREE. JUST INCASE YOU DIDN'T GET THAT, IT'S FREE. AND IT'S SONDRE LERCHE. IN BROOKLYN. WHO'S COMING.

parfum

I must say...it's very odd to call one's house and have a different, unknown voice pick up 9/10 times. And even more awkward to then ask if dad is home and have them tell me no...."thanks, I'll try the cell!" (AWKWARD...)

But it's cool. It's climbing season up in Alaska and at any given moment, there are probably 1 or 2 climbing groups just chillin at the casa. I haven't been in AK for all the climbing fun since I was a little girl...and this time around, it's very different, because there are college groups that come from Korea. (insert huge grin)

...maybe next year I'll be there for the fun. Big bbq's by the lake, karaoke....and lots of alcohol in the house all the time, because those climbers like themselves some booze.

So let's do the math: summer + lots of (sometimes young) men (and women, not so fun) + grill + alcohol + karaoke + the lake = PARADISE, SORT OF!

Went perfume hunting today, and found some fantastic new scents (pour femme et pour homme!):

Pour femme....


1. Chloe - Collection 2005: Ah....heaven. It's a perfectly balanced mix of fruits (pear, passionfruit), musk, and floral (gardenia) scents...there's nothing overbearing about it. It's the three s's: soft, sophisticated, but sexaaaay as hell, like anything Chloe.

2. Hermes - Eau des Merveilles: I'm usually not a fan of Hermes fragrances; most of the ones I've come across are so citron they make me want to vomit. But this fragrance is actually heaven. It's similar to Chloe, but it's a little heavier, a little more mature. Of course both scents are very french, but they vary a bit...Hermes is more for a parlour, and Chloe is more for frolicking in an outdoor market during the day. Eau des Merveilles is just so elegant, just the right mix of floral and musk. And there's that trace of the signature Hermes citron, but it's not nauseating.

3. Stella McCartney - Stella: This scent is all about the rose, so it's really feminine and lush. It's dark and stella-sexy. I didn't know Stella McCartney had a fragrance line, but she does and it is glorioussss!

Pour homme...

1. Carolina Herrera - Aqua: mmmm...I think any guy wearing this will be attacked by flocks of women. Or at least by flocks of me, because this scent is amaaazing. I love Carolina, she's my signature (maybe not anymore) so maaaybe I'm a little biased. Whatever. It smells fucking fantastic. And like any other Carolina fragrance, really elegant. Some notes in the scent are...sea mist, mandarin, lavendar, rosemary, amber, musk...the notes may sound feminine, but the fragrance itself is very masculine.
Mmmmm...

so there you have it. if you're freaked out that I just wrote a review for perfumes, then you need to be clued in on something:

I'm obsessed with perfumes.

It's an art! The right perfume can do wonders for anyone. Some believe that Creed is my calling (okay maybe only Teri). Mmmmmmmmmmmm I heart parfum. Okay anyway, time to finish my resume, I procrastinate too much. (could you tell?)

where the party at

Ew, it's not yet 4 am and no one is online! LOSERS, ALL OF YOU.
(Let's not acknowledge the fact that in reality, I am the uber-geek for being online at such a time.)


Whatever. I'm sitting in bed and my wireless is going haywire, so I'm going to go and work on my 'burnt orange' manuscript.



...although really, it's not fair to call it a manuscript. It's more of a follow-up to each of my pieces; an in-depth journey of 'what the hell was she thinking/on when she wrote this.' I know you're all probably dying to read it (haaah) but I don't like to share. (Never shared my toys when I was a kid.) Only Naima has seen bits and pieces of it and that's because she's my manager (hoooorah! by the way, tomorrow is judgment day concerning the secret submission).

I jest, by the way. If you're interested in reading them, go right ahead and ask me. I played nicely when I was a child, trust me. I was actually more of a pushover anyway. Literally. There was one time when I was about 3 years old and pushed into one of those ball pens.
But I digress.



I probably shouldn't be playing Phoenix if I plan on sleeping anytime soon....OH WELL! (insert innocent shrug)










Okay and here's what you're missing out on if you don't come to AK this august (hop on the bandwagon, folks):
(these are all pictures taken from down by the lake behind the house)



there's plenty of room in the tent that Teri and I are going to pitch on the balcony....woot!

i love hearing the orchestra tune up

Okay. This is my dorky classical music plug:



THIS WEDNESDAY (the 25th). LINCOLN CENTER, NEW YORK PHILHARMONIC.
They're performing my all-time favorite piece, Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No.2!! Aaaaannd I really want to go. But....preferably, not alone.
So if you're in the city and want to hear amaaaazing music.......LET ME KNOW! Tickets are probably like...$30 or under.

ANDDD THEEENNN. EVERYONE DEFINITELY HAS TO COME TO THIS, IT'S GOING TO BE CRAZY WINE AND CHEESE PARTY IN THE PARK. WITH THE PHILHARMONIC.
when: July 13th, 8 pm
where: great lawn
what: New York Philharmonic Concert in the Park! Freeeee! (i.e. a really good excuse to have a picnic)


so if you're in the city, I'd better see you there.


anyway. tried making a resume today because I desperately need something to do and want to get a part-time job or something. but...yeah I don't have much of a resume at all--I guess I'll have to charm all of the employers, harhar! (right.) (I'm not going to be able to get a job.)

played frisbee in the park with the bro, it was gorrrgeous out. Finished 'This Side of Paradise;' Fitz is so tragic, I love it. Hum...okay bye.


AND SERIOUSLY LET ME KNOW ABOUT THE 25TH, ALL OF YOU.
AND BY 'ALL OF YOU,' I MEAN...I DON'T KNOW. LEAVE A COMMENT ONCE IN A WHILE IF YOU READ THIS SO I KNOW WHO I'M TALKING TO, GODDAMNIT. AND YOU DON'T NEED A BLOGGER TO COMMENT. ANYONE CAN DO IT, EVEN MY GRANDMOTHER. maybe I'll actually get her to comment.

(did that intimidate you? it was meant to.)

what is this fresh air you speak of

What? Deb? Outside?? Walking about???? UNHEARD OF!

But indeed, it happened today, and it was glorious. The sun was shining (eventually), I was roaming my beloved Upper East Side with an English Breakfast from Yura (also my beloved) and everything was just peachy. Saw the Chanel exhibit at the Met with Margaret and Priya...Chanel is the epitome of femininity, it's marvelous. The exhibit also made me want to live in the roaring 20's. I've always wanted to be from the 20's, siiiiggghhh.

Oh, so let me explain the new addition to the blog: FETISH OF THE WEEK!
(why do I feel like I'm my own 'Late Night with Conan O'Brien'...except it's more like 'Late Night with Debo'...I keep adding these little "sketches" and every entry is like my monologue. hah! I love Conan, by the way.)
So....The Bravery.
To be honest, they're kind of annoying. Their video "Unconditional" reeks of the downtown poser-NYU scene that I loathe so. How can I describe it...twiggy girls wearing sunglasses that cover their entire face in dark smoky sweaty clubs, everyone chugging beers and feeling glamourous on the outside. Pretentious posers, ew. ew ew ew. That's what The Bravery is all about.
But the chorus to "An Honest Mistake" is fun. I'll probably be extremely sick of it by the end of this week, and hence, fetish of the week--not month.

So...........okay, bye. Oh yeah, I want to learn how to cook marvelous things this summer so that I can use the kitchen next year. I know, I probably won't use the kitchen at all after the first few months, but still, I want to be able to cook a decent meal.

Yay!

oh, bridget

Such a cute movie. I have a weakness of rewatching it with director's commentary. I do it with Sex and the City, I do it with any movie I can stand watching more than once.

Ohhhh so cute. Go watch it. Although Renee isn't my fav actress, she's bearable as Bridget. And the commentary is making me give her some more credit as an actress.



Naima made a keen observation that a blog is like a relationship...it starts out with me writing witty, intellectual, mysterious things and then the relationship takes the inevitable turn and the blog entries become more bland, more whiny and mundane and rantish. Well, I want to reaffirm my vows with this blog! I promise I won't turn it into a rant blog--or at least, I'll try. But I deserve a few good rants, yes?

Ow, my throat. Faaack. (that was the last whine for the night)

I know how to post pictures up now without using that weird program, woooot! So here you go:

OOOKKAAY nevermind I still don't know how to put up pictures. Damn.

whatever happened to macy gray?

Just want to put that out there. Naima enlightened me about Lauryn Hill's meltdown, which is sad because she was cool. Or so we thought.And that lead me to wonder, what happened to Macy and that raspy voice of hers?

Anyway. Its been so beautiful out lately, and I'm missing all the beautiful weather because I'm sick and indoors!

I'm living vicariously through pretty font colors to make up for missing out on the weather. But tomorrow, I think I'll go into the city, maybe go to Spence. I'm supposed to meet up with Margaret and Priya to go to the Chanel exhibit at the Met. Ah, I miss the Met--I haven't been there in ages.

The bio/pic/songs have been submitted! Now we just have to wait and see....

I have been craving chocolate like a mofo the past 18 hours or so. I think I may need to get off my arse and get it myself. Ugh I'm in no state to be in public though I look like I've just emerged from a tomb. Not as a tourist, but as one of the dead.

at least there's colin firth

Now it's just sad. Not to mention extremely frustrating. My cold has moved on to the next phase...the throat is a little better, but now, hooooorah! I have a cough.And I still cant' breathe through my nose.

So to make myself feel better (or at least give my eyes something nice to look at while I'm bed-ridden) I went to Blockbuster yesterday since I was feeling a little better, and rented myself a Colin Firth marathon: Bridget Jones The Edge of Reason, and my fav, the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. I could be a middle-aged single British woman. Anywaaaay.


MUST WRITE BIO! TODAY! NOW!


I don't know why it's taking me such a long time to get myself to write the damn thing, it's only a few paragraphs. Well, it's probably the NyQuil.

America's Top Model Finale tonight! Yippeeeeee--oh god. See what summer + sickness + TV + NO JOB has done to me??? I need to get myself out of this vicious cycle of sleep, dvds, food, tv, nyquil. Baaaah.

please

just kill me and put me out of this misery that is not being able to breathe properly (i.e. in through my nose) or swallow solid foods--scratch that, I can't swallow anything without wanting to cry.


ROOOAAARRRRRRRR (virtual roar, because in reality, i am not really capable of making any type of utterance that resembles the above, thanks to my tortured throat.)

i'm melting

so i've lost my voice and constantly being on nyquil is tripping me out.

it hurts to swallow anything and i'm going back to bed.

p.s- naima i did get your voicemail but the nyquil has just kicked in. i will go online when i am up later, and we shall talk? hopefully you are well, as I am not, and can tell you that the grass is certainly not greener on this side.

For your amusement:

Nyquil-induced Spaceout Playlist
Faded From Winter - Iron & Wine
Mazurka in C Sharp Major - Chopin
Paranoid Eyes - Pink Floyd
Swarming - Efterklang
Deja Vu - Crosby Stills & Nash
Climbing Up The Walls - Radiohead
Voodoo Child - Jimi Hendrix
Isn't It A Pity (Version Two) - George Harrison
Woman of Heard and Mind - Joni Mitchell
Roggae - Phish
Oh Well, Okay - Elliot Smith
Rosemary - Grateful Dead

p.p.s - so I have a box of "BIG CHEEZ-IT"s and there's a picture of a cheez-it on the side for this thing called "anatomy of a Cheez-It" and under the picture it says "Not Actual Size." But just out of curiousity, I took one of the actual cheez-its and matched it to the picture and it matched PERFECTLY. not one cheez-it, but MANY!

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.

when you float like a cannonball

This is my feverish, nyquil-ed post. Goddamnit, its been an hour since I've downed the gels and I am neither relieved of this fever nor am I feeling the vaguely sweet drowsiness that nyquil inspires. mmm....drowsiness. WHERE IS IT?

woke up this morning (who am I kidding, this late afternoon) feeling like death. Feverish, aching from being in bed too long (do you know what I mean? it's an awful sensation) or maybe it was from so much unpacking yesterday. Anyway, stumbled upstairs to get water, tylenol, claritin, turned on the television and felt nauseous so I turned it off. Got up and started feeling all of the warnings signs of passing out...nausea, white lights, lightheadedness. All in all, an awful afternoon.

Somehow the tylenol kicked in and I made it to BOHA, feeling just fine, if you ignore the cold sweat. Triple won again, which is good I suppose. I actually thought Dalton did a great job and they're probably not happy about the consecutive win...hopefully they'll be good sports and go back next year if there's another BOHA. Saw some '04 girls: Sarah W, Zoe B, Pam, Liza, and Elena was there. It was the weirdest Spence experience yet, I think we were all a little twilight zoned when we left. Something about...I don't know, no one really cared that we were there haha. Oh well, that's how it goes.I should go back sometime just to say hello to the faculty, they're all I really care about.

This is going to be a long entry, because I'm basically going to write until the nyquil kicks in. Just warning you. Get a bowl of popcorn or something.

Spence popped up in This Side of Paradise which was amusing. Some of his writing seems so insensitive, but some of it is just so lyrical. and impossibly romantic. I love impossibly romantic things. I'll try finding a passage.

Never mind, my mind can't focus long enough of a passage to deem it worthy to post. It must be the nyquil, finally.



Anyway, so I get back from the city and on the train ride back my mind seemed unnaturally clear and I felt very prism-like, perched on the edge of the subway seat.
And soon after I get back home, I became feverish again. Watched "The Baby-Sitters Club Movie" which was hilarious this time around. Had planned on watching it instead of going to BOHA but I got the best of both worlds today, no? I used to love the BSC series when I was younger. I only read series as a child: Babar, Boxcar Children, Baby Sitters Club, Agatha Christie...don't know why. Still love them: Harry Potter, LOTR, Laurie King.


Listening to the Amelie soundtrack, and one of the tracks end with a jewelry box melody...do you know what I mean, I can't remember if there's an actual name to it, but the tinny song that plays when you open a jewelry box. Anyway, hearing it brought up a memory from...years ago, I can't even remember it clearly, I just remember opening my mom's jewelry box and hearing the music and crying. Something must have happened, but I can't remember what. I just know that I always associate that kind of thing with sadness now, a really deep nostalgia for something.

Alright I'm really tired of typing in this thing. Not quite tired yet, so I guess I'll browse the Internet for a bit and go to bed.

lullaby of birdland

spent...literally ALL DAY unpacking. such a pain, but I feel much more at home now that my books are on the shelves, string lights (as cheesy as they are) up near my bed.


four months really isn't that much time.




my wonderful manager (naima, heehee) has found me an opportunity of a lifetime! but it's hush hush. so you'll have to wait and see...

burnt orange nostalgia

A six hour nap...isnt' really a nap, it's just sleep. So I guess I slept. For most of the day. And after waking up and eating and playing on the piano, I've come to realization:
I don't like change.

I try to embrace it, and I bite the bullet and just deal with it, but I've just never liked big changes. I don't like the fact that I'm never going to see Hayden 1014 again. I don't like the fact even though I haven't unpacked all of my shit yet, in 4 months, it's all getting packed again and going into yet another dorm, yet another floor, yet another room. I am so goddamn sentimental, and I hate that I can't help it. I wish I could care less about so many things that I brood and obsess over, but I guess it wasn't meant to be that way.


Anyway, enough of that sentimental crap (see, this is how I try to make myself seem less brittle--'sentimental crap')

Studying for/taking the politics final was a nightmare and I'm so glad that's over with. After the final, it was mostly wine + happy music + sad packing for a loooong time. Sat around with the people left on the floor, went to all the places we needed to go to before leaving (i.e. the Pizzaria, the deli for beer, gray's, ordering in from Spice) and by 3 am I had a headache that last until I was back home. I don't know if it was me already being hungover but it sucked. Went to bed at 5, got up at 9 to finish packing. Went to the bookstore to return some books, saw Washington Square Park blocked off for commencement which is tomorrow...I can't imagine how everyone is going to fit, but it must be quite a spectacle.

And then...loaded up the car with Elena and left.
Any genuine emotion in goodbyes is always hidden under generic "have a great summer," and oddly polite hugs, and seeing all of the things I was leaving behind (lamp, little wooden table, the pinata, tiki torch) lying in the hallway with the other trash made me feel sad. But that's over, and here I am, writing the inevitable nostalgia post in my blogger, post-move out.


So I guess that was freshman year.

duffel bag? body bag?

oh god. home.

(finally?) (or will freshman year being over hit me only after i take a 10 hour nap?)




i'll update about the last few days of first year later. but now, advil + sleep.

2 am: an early night!

It's probably not such a good sign that I think it's an early night. I'm thinking 'Oh good, I can read some more fitzgerald...have some chocolate covered strawberries (that Elena brought back..they were so good) and watch the Harry Potter preview that Naima sent me (twice, with Elena. Really giddy each time--new Harry Potter book in July and a new movie in November? YESSSS I'm such a dork) '

But I feel like I deserve it.
I was in the library literally all day, from like 3 pm to 9 pm. Margaret was in the next cubicle! She was there when I got there and was still there when I left, crazzzyy! But we both took really long breaks too. So. Yeah.
Then went to McDonalds with Billy and Danielle to review but of course we didn't get anything done. We thought it would be great fun to review there. It was for a while and then it got a little weird. And so we left.
But then Danielle and I were super efficient. Which doesn't mean much because I still feel kind of..um....what's the word--FUCKED for the exam. But....whatever.


Juuuuust want the year to be over, thanks. Although I have no summer plans, so once summer is actually here I'll probably be wishing I was back here. I'm never ever satisfied. Siiiiiigh.

rhapsodies and themes

Ending the night with (1) broccoli & garlic sauce (2) some good Rachmaninoff and Chopin and (3) a good book





Okaaaaaay....so I wrote that last line maybe an hour and a half ago, and am in a completely different place now. A lot has happened since then. Yeah it's 4 am now...
Trevor was just taken to the hospital...apparently hes been getting kind of crazy the past few days, and some people think he might be bipolar and is having a manic episode. Adam told some RA's, the RA's got a social worker to come talk to Trevor...Jessi, Miles and I waited in my room. Then apparently 911 was called and now Trevor is away.
I hadn't really seen/talked to Trevor in a while but tonight he randomly IMed me with an "I lov eyou deb" and then immediately signed off, and that was odd. So then I was on the phone and I walked into the hallway and some people on the floor were standing outside of Trevor's room, but I didn't get that something was going on...but...yeah. I just assumed Trevor was really drunk/high, but apparently he was completely sober...which says a lot.

I feel really...I don't know.
Miles and Jessi and Adam seemed a bit shaken up, and I felt so...out of place? I don't know how to describe it, since Trevor and I have had a very...almost "bipolar" relationship. So...I was kind of overwhelmed with genuine concern, but I didn't know of anything that had been going on. I just don't know. I really hope he's okay.

sigh.
can't really sleep anymore, I'll go back to to reading, I guess.
this year has just been different shades of bizarre.



the night has been split into two episodes: the first episode is going to yaffa for jed's birthday with kait and margaret...and the second episode would be...yeah....long night.

save tonight, fight the break of dawn

come tomorrow, tomorrow i'll be gone


aite so here's the breakdown bitches.
last night: finished up the jazz essay, hit up zen with some awesome floormates (i.e ruby margaret kait) and had some good ol fun. came back watched xmen with jed and his friend chaz i think and then finished my paper went to bed at 5 am and woke up at 8 am, 9 am, 10 am , 12 pm, 2 pm)
tonight i went to strand and was in a fitzgerald mood so i bought 'this side of paradise' and read for a good few hours, which i haven't done in a while. i appreciate fitz's style. i think i like it better than gatsby.
then went to an nyu art show or something, mike's friend was in a band, 'the roaring 20's' and his friend kevin played drums and they were entertaining. box wine. then oh taisho and more drinks. then back to dorm, then to peculiars with jeff. and now sitting with pizza and fitzgerald and goodnight.

googlisms

Yet another brilliant means for procrastination. Some were really amusing. These are all for "debo"

• debo is reduced by two thirds during the dry season and is the largest body of water in all of west africa
• debo is a white boxer with a hearing impairment
• debo is active and healthy and has bonded with a female
• debo is escaping from prison and wants to kill craig
• debo is a bridge between the old and new western and indian history (wtf?)
  
• debo is in the front compartment and his partner is in the end compartment (I feel like there are a lot of pornstars out there with the name debo...fantastic!)
• debo is just wasted
• debo is like a brother to me and i guess that is why we call each other cousins
• debo is a 14 ½" male
• debo is definitely ready to become a star
• debo is a former president of orange torpedo trips of idaho

ya...so back to work?

complicating the right hand melody

Am back at home for the night, trying to revise my final draft for Writing the Essay, but television is so distracting...it's good that we didn't have one in the dorm this year, that would have been bad. I'm assuming one of our suitemates next year will have one though. Damn.

America's Next Top Model....addictive. Tyra Banks = hilariously vapid.

Last night, Teri came downtown which was a nice change since we were both sick of our surroundings. We were super efficient, too! We went to dinner at Ciao, where our waiter Salvatore lavished us with......a lot of talking. And free drinks. The latter being much more enjoyable. But it was great, he spoke to Teri in Italian and tried to speak to me in French. I really do want to become fluent...that would be fun. Anyway, we indulged in amazing bruschetta, pasta, warm apple tart with ice cream, sauvignon blanc...mmmmm. "It's finals time, we can indulge."
Then we were efficient and did work. Amazing, no?

And fell asleep watching/listening to Roman Holiday. Handed my paper in today (early!) and came home.

Decided that "Reminder" is a shitty title for a song. Have changed no.17 to "Burnt Orange" because I'm kind of getting into seeing color in music. And although for me it's completely subjective and if Wardlaw heard the piece he'd probably say sherbert lime or something out there, I think the title does the song justice. Righto.


Really need to get work done on this paper. Tomorrow....my hair needs a trimmmmmin, my bangs are out of control. I'm not sure how much of the hair I should cut....it took so long to get it nice and long, but....whatever. And then back to the city! For...yeah I don't know.

unfortunate

I feel foolish.

wait, what?

It's May already? That was random...I mean I knew May was coming up, but yeah. Okay maybe I just need the coffee to hit me.

The park is very green today. Where did all these leaves come from?



Have I just been in a daze the past few weeks?
Well, yes.


Last night = crazy times with Mike. I won't elaborate here, but yeah. It was funny/sad.


I have to sing at a recital later tonight, which is going to be such a JOKE. I'm so glad this voice lesson thing is over, although I've missed too many lessons...hopefully that doesn't mean she's going to give me an incomplete or anything because that would be hilarious. Not really, I'd be furious.
Ugh.