bad!

Okay I need to not be so obsessive.


Naima, you probably know what what I mean. Think St. Anthony. And...precious.
Actually, a lot of people know what I mean, but I don't think any of them read this blog.
Ewwwww I have a legitimate crush on someone who is so off limits. What the hell is wrong with me?




Listened to Pink Floyd, Duke Ellington, Abbey Road LPs in Drew's room tonight. Oh, and saw '3 Iron' at Sunshine which was pretty good.







and the sinus congestion is out of control, I can't stand it! Claritin-D, you fail in life.

all the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

Yes, that is an Ashlee Simpson lyric. And it won't happen again.

But I listen to shit pop when I'm feeling too vulnerable to listen to anything else...Ashlee won't trigger any unnecessary emotions, you know? Except maybe contempt for today's music industry, but that's minor.





Well, I've given it some thought, and I think 'just friends' isn't going to do it for me anymore. I'm tipping over backwards and I want to fall into a relationship--there, I said it. RELATIONSHIP. Right now, there's no one there to catch me, and I'm just going to end up with a concussion when I hit my head on the ground. Romantic, no?





Ugh, forget it. What a depressing entry. Just needed to get that out.

oh la la!

Haha. This week. Was. Insane.

Never have I needed the weekend so badly.



Anyway. Monday Tuesday Wednesday...got less sleep every night..4 hours...3....1 hour....but somehow managed to survive.

Today was my last African Diaspora, WTE, and Politics class. And last real French class but we have a test on Monday.



Went to BBQ with french buddy Jordan before class and had one of their 20 oz. margheritas. We were fashionably late to class. We both participated more in that class than any other. Fantastic. Mind you, our french class was at 12:30 so we were getting drinks at 11 am. That's a new record. And BBQ is great. So trashy.


Now I need a nap.

c'est pas grave

I need to somehow document this as the most beautiful day. Weather-wise.
It's days like this one that keep me going through the gross winters...so nice. Auugh. The fountain in the park was on today for an hour and there was this cool mist, and I could have died happy right then and there.

Nice weather really does something to me. I'm running on three hours of sleep, but I'm still happy!



In a few hours, notsomuch. Must write an entire paper tonight for African Diaspora, but have to read two books beforehand. And...I skipped a lot of lectures so that whole part about incorporating the films we watched...um....yeah that's going to suck.
Tonight will be death. But for now, I'm going to go read in the park.

whew

The next two weeks are going to suck, I've accepted it. I don't know how much money I'll be spending on coffee/other caffeinated beverages, but I'm guessing it's going to be in the range of "a lot" and "seriously, a lot"

Was up sitting in the Hayden lib until 5 am last night furiously making a draft of this final paper; I don't think time has ever passed so quickly. I would write write write, look at the clock and bam--half an hour gone. I guess it was hard to pack up and leave because the topic is so dense and I'm investing a lot of real ideas and core values in this paper. It's about music and identity, so...yeah. Technically it's supposed to be based on Ellison's essays but it's more like I'm using him to back my own idea, so I've taken away the limelight.

Anyway. Need to finish that draft tonight, read two books and start another paper. I feel so drained.



I might be in France this summer, if things work out. Hopefully they will. Part of me feels inspired and empowered to really kick ass and take control of my future, and the other part of me is just overwhelmed and in a state of constant paralysis. The two combined leave me feeling like I'm waking up from a deep Nyquil spell.


Walked around like a zombie all day--not that I was particularly tired (that will probably be tomorrow) but was just in an apathetic mood. The only time I really laughed was in the park; I was walking to the bookstore (to buy the books that I should have bought and read months ago) and hear someone running up behind me, but I thought whatever it's probably someone running by me/too tired to turn around and look for myself. The next thing I know, someone is grabbing me around the waist, and so of course Deb + unexpected physical contact/potential tickle = SPAZ, EEK, FLAIL
so then there is chaos and I'm almost on the ground, and I turn around and there is Billy who has fallen right on his ass and is sprawled on the ground with all the park goers staring at the two of us, and I started laughing hysterically. Silly Billy. Tried to pick me up but the everyone knows I am not one to be picked up...although Trevor managed to do it twice. Billy should ask him for advice.

So that was the only laugh of the day, but it was a good one.

This entry has been too verbose for its own good. Oh well, I'm warming up my fingers to finish up the draft. And...here we go.

and as a result

I've had an odd writer's block for some time, but that weird moment of clarity last night provided some smooth sailing, and I wrote lyrics for a new piece, "Icarus"--I think everything minus a bridge (as usual). Also, I pretty much mapped out the rest of my academic career here. Which is actually pretty exciting because it's my makeshift way of controlling/seeing the future. Of course things can get fucked up, but I'm willing to risk it. It looks safe from this distance. Anyway. This entry will be relatively short (eh I take that back) because it somehow got to be almost 6 pm and I haven't started a.) my french homework b.) my african diaspora paper c.) reading 4 books for the african diaspora paper or d.) written my draft for writing the essay. all of these things are due either before or by wednesday. exciting! anyway, I leave you with lyrics for "Icarus"---also, it's funny, even my handwriting for this piece was very clean and neat, unlike the illegible scribbles that make up every other piece I've written.

"Icarus"
You seek solace in lonely museums
In hopes that the colors will seep under your skin
Yet that one voice can shatter your reverie
And it echoes, like your footsteps, into your black & white memory

Self-understanding is fool's gold
while we are all greedy and naive.

Daydreamer, you'll fly towards the sun
to find the warmth you seek
And on the way, find Icarus, hold his hand
while you both make your way to the sea

Intoxicated, you run through the rain
hopelessly attached to romance
You tell yourself you've got nothing and everything to lose
But in the end, you're only left with ruined shoes

You'll never find indifference in a lullaby
Although your life is measured in multi-colored sighs

Daydreamer, you'll fly towards the sun
to find the warmth you seek
And on the way, find Icarus, hold his hand
while you both make your way to the sea

Composure is a telling sign of the storm
see her fingers tremble as she lights the match
Emergency exits are painted doors
Better to cover your eyes with a satin sash

This little raft is filling up with rain
And the water is rather cold

Daydreamer, you'll fly towards the sun
to find the warmth you seek
And on the way, find Icarus, hold his hand
while you both make your way to the sea




p.s - I really wish the dude upstairs would not plug his guitar into his amp, there is no way I can block out his awkward playing. He's gotten a lot better, but yeah...it's definitely not time for an amp.

je pense...

I'm feeling a bit melancholy, and it's quiet in my room--I'm afraid that playing the wrong music will throw me into a funk, and I don't particularly enjoy funks. I'm just listening to the rain and cars whizzing by 10 floors below me, and every once in a while, the 'eeks' of drunk girls who have probably stepped in a puddle. Sounds of the city, essentially. I'll miss these sounds when I leave.

I think there are kind-hearted, beautiful people here at NYU. I just don't think I've met many of them. Or, I have, but never got to know them, which is a pity. The people I really got to know, for the most part...I don't know. I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm just being ungrateful, there are plenty of people I know here who are genuinely kind and funny and caring.

I had plans for the night, but they've evaporated, and I think I'm going to go change into my pajamas and read in bed for a bit. Some Colette, perhaps. I've been researching her all day for French anyway, and now I'm in the mood for some of her writing. And plus, I haven't read in bed in ages, and that's my expertise!

Or maybe I should work on my essay, given that if I worked tonight, I would still be behind...but no. I need to relax. And think about summer plans. No, no. Just Colette.

'Is all this,' I asked him, indicating the carefully matched cigarette-case, tie, and handkerchief, 'because of some vow?'
'Oh no,' he answered guilelessly; 'it's very fashionable.'





I was talking to Mike today, and he told me that he thought my breakfast at tiffany's poster said a lot about my character. I love Mike for being the one person who describes my flaws and eccentricities to me so matter of factly. And Stan is usually on the point with that kind of stuff too. I won't elaborate, it's a bit too nuanced but if you study Holly Golightly, you may understand...or not.

I feel oddly centered at the moment, and I know this is fleeting and I want to document it somehow, but how, how, how...

how long till my soul gets it right?

Damn you, Claritin! It's been a little over 12 hours and my 24 hour tablet has apparently stopped working because my eyes are puffy and I'm sneezing again. I just want to be able to breathe normally, really is that too much to ask.

Look at me! I'm up early! (To do laundry)



Last night was a Spence night, most def. Jenny came over and we had a glorious picnic which I now have to describe for you because it was triumphant. Elena brought back amazing stuff from Zabar's, including yummy shrimp, Israeli salad, baguette, sharp cheddar. I brought grapes, brie, carrs crackers. Jenny brought amazing cupcakes for dessert. Mmmmmmm....there were delicious smells wafting from our room, and it made me excited for next year when we can actually cook, and those delicious smells won't just be from microwaving prepared food. Olivia Merns and Becca randomly came downtown but it was nice. Took them to Peculiar's. Oh, Spence.

Iron & Wine's harmonies make me feel warped. I have so much work to do this weekend. Motivate. Motivate.

what do you say when it's all gone away?

I woke up with a very sensitive spot my on head from when I kept banging it on various surfaces. Because I was being mercilessly tickled.
I really can't handle being tickled, I completely freak out and spaz; that's probably why people think it's so funny to tickle me. But it's actually torture, so I make these weird unattractive half laughing/half screaming noises. Oh and that reminds me: fairweather friends truly do piss me off like nothing else.


In other news, I need a digital camera.



Went to a College Democrats vs. College Republicans debate last night with my friend Drew (he was writing something on it for the WSN) and I must say it was immensely entertaining. The topics were social security and gay marriage, and I think the Republicans in general were shitty speakers: cocky, unorganized, stammering. Not to mention delusional. Some of the things said on gay marriage were thoroughly disturbing, especially when one guy somehow equated it to the marriage of two people with mental illnesses...but the best reparte was during the social security debate:

Democrat: In my world, not everyone takes time to invest in stocks...
Republican: Well, I live in the real world.
Another Dem: The real world extends outside of Stern!

But it was true, some of these Stern Republicans were the absolute worst.



Went to Zen, first time in many months.



Later tonight, wine and cheese indoor picnic with Jenny! We were supposed to have a picnic in central park at dusk but it's supposed to rain soon, so....poo.
And I desperately desperately need to do laundry.

accidentally in love

i'm not in love, but the song is catchy/cute although I used to hate it.

why do I think it's okay to keep skipping my 8 am class? because it's not okay! and it's my only class today so I definitely could have done it. whatever.


room selection was yesterday, and I must say it was crazy. potential aneurysms galore, everyone packed into the basement of greenwich hotel, fun! but it worked out, elena and I got the last big double in the building, it somehow got overlooked by people ahead of us (miracles do happen). we're in 703B, right under elena's film friends' suite, on the same floor with billy and jeff, and one floor above danielle. it's going to be good times.

come on, come on, turn a little faster
come on, come on, the world will follow after

it's such a nice day out and I feel like a bum for getting up so late. going to go pick up film and food, get down to work. voice lesson at 3, a whole hour! poooooo







and oh how I love crosby, stills & nash.

I've got an answer
I'm going to fly away
What have I got to lose?

boo for time differences

Where is my trophy for #1 Procastinator? I demand it. And when it comes in the form of big fat failures in some of my classes this term, I would like to say some thank you's:

I would like to thank this blogger, and my livejournal where I post my lyrics (haven't updated in months but did tonight), the nap that I took on the plane ride back from Cali, being stuck on Cali time, and really not wanting to do this writing exercise for tomorrow morning.


I mean, I love Ralph Ellison's essays, but I can't do any work right now.
...and my bed is calling out to me.

NOTE TO SELF, TOMORROW IS ROOM SELECTION DAY @ GREENWICH. ALSO NOTE TO SELF, GET YOUR LIFE IN ORDER.


mmk. back to work.

sleepin in the street with a burger king crown

aite. slept all day. exhausted from le wedding. listening to beck's new album now.

i am the self-proclaimed queen of unreality.








"...with a mullet and a popsicle." it doesn't mean much. it doesn't mean anything at all. the life i've left behind me is a cold room...who's coming to alaska this summer? word. i want to live a life free of responsibilities, i'd be really kick-ass in that life.

right.

I should just start off every post with a "what-impossibly-awkward-thing-could-happen-to-deb-when-
she-hasn't-even-been-awake-for-an-hour" section. because trust me, I am awkward 24/7, not just from 10 am - 8 pm.

So I go to my 8 am class today just to hand in my project, since I have to shower/pack/go home/catch a flight. I walk in, the professor isn't there yet, I see my TA sitting with another TA. So I walk up to her, give her my project, tell her I need to leave and catch a flight. So she says "alright, have fun, catch a bouquet" whatever. And then I tell her that my flight gets in Monday evening so I'll be missing recitation. She looks at me and says "then I'm going to have to fail you."
....mind you, now I'm thinking all of those skipped lectures and few skipped rct's are piling up and that she's actually being serious. And she was also giving me this look of death. So I'm standing there with this blank expression on my face for 30 seconds and go, "are you....serious?"
then she and the other TA start cracking up. So I laugh a little but am inwardly thinking "FUCK, I've only been awake for 20 minutes, I could believe anything, and thank you for making me feel/look like a fool, BIOTCH"



whatever. I just want to go back to bed but it's going to be a long....longgggggg day.
and I know this is ridiculously cheesy but given that I was a phantom planet fan from their pre-OC, grass-roots days, I feel entitled:
Californiaaaaa, califorrrniaaaa, here we come!

its been so long since I've heard that song, I don't even know if those are the lyrics. whatev.
California this weekend + Deb in a pink bridesmaids gown (ew) = fun pictures to come.

PEACE!

a change is gonna come

I would never make it to my 8 am's if it wasn't for Elena. After a massive spaz attack at 7 30 am (i.e, I got up to turn off the alarm and after taking a step fell on my ass because one leg was asleep) I fell back into bed and she, in her half-awake/half-asleep state, managed to persuade me to get up and get my ass to class. Oh I love the roomie.
Anyway, so glad I went. I really do enjoy that class when I go, but today it was basically a Motown-fest, blasting the Vandellas, Supremes, Sam Cooke, Otis Redding for 45 minutes. It was probably the caffeine rush but I haven't thoroughly enjoyed a class so much since Spence--it just has a good vibe.

I'm such a dork.


But at least I'll admit it!





Okay so this day is going to be insane. And then tomorrow I'm headin' to California for the weekend. Baaah, have to pack tonight. On top of everything else.



p.s - I finished the new piece (still effy about the title) last night; added a bridge:

So sing me your song of glory
It pains me but I won't let it show

brilliant!

i'm living in greenwich hotel with elena next year!


with some cool-ass mothafuckas! (i.e so far from what I hear, billy/jeff/danielle&co./patches&co. also got greenwich)

dass pretty sweet! I still haven't seen it haha but there's housekeeping. enough said. and it was our second choice after broome, so...we won't be schlepping from water st.



WOOT! and now I have to run 1001 errands, do the french hw I thought was due thursday but really was due today, plus all my other work. um...and I got fired from my part-time job, YEEESSS! (note: no sarcasm here, I'm actually genuinely happy, although it was good pay.)





edit: so here's a downer for you...I just paid $27.40 for 84 pieces of paper. I've never felt so jipped in my life. I had to go buy a photocopied version of this book I was supposed to get for the voice lesson, but the company was out of stock or whatever so she made copies. Mind you, the actual book costs exactly the same, I think. But my SHITTY ASS VERSION doesn't even have binding. Literally 84 loose pieces of paper held by a rubber band. $27.40.

say it with me now: NOT WORTH IT.

what's the wishbone theme song

my politics rct was cancelled today (i.e the TA never showed up) so I have a little time on my hands before my next class at 9:30. Oh how I love early morning classes. (note: sarcasm)

went running yesterday morning with Elena, but this time we didn't go to the river, just did a few laps around the park. I like running to the river, it's not as repetitive--but we didn't have time. Whatevs!

I would like to say one thing about someone though, and that is only to say: DOUCHE!!!

alright, that's out of my system.

THE SHIT IS BANANAS, B-A-N-A-N-A-S! that's the new gwen stefani song, 'hollaback girl'. it's ridiculous but I love it anyway. because gwen is a crazy mothafucka.

i'm....really tired.


and seriously, how did the wishbone theme song go??

mood indigo

What is this, my third post today? Technically, yes. Even though the first was "last night"

Anyway, ended up going to Steinhardt for a bit, which was good because I got most of a new piece finished. These are the lyrics that I have so far..basically everything minus a bridge. The tentative title is "Reminder"

Walking through this city
makes me feel so high and low
You don't know me when I am alone

You're playing pin the tail
on an already deflated ego
I think I may need my lifesaver...

...3,2,1, this game has just begun
3,2,1, seeing you go is half the fun

Perfume and cigarette smoke
remind me of an unreality
So excuse me
for ignoring signs of the inevitable
but I had to have my cup of tea.

Remind me how I let
my feelings stray this far
Into thinking reciprocation
was not fleeting

Denial was a bad choice
but I'm one hell of a liar
So remind me that
this tragedy is real

3,2,1, this game has just begun
3,2,1, seeing you go is half the fun

Perfume and cigarette smoke
remind me of an unreality
So excuse me
for ignoring signs of the inevitable
but I had to have my cup of tea.

The other pieces that I'm working on are "Indirect Object" and "Gravity"...hopefully those will be done before the end of the year, and then...another recording session?

yeah, this could be a problem

it's so nice out. spent most of the day asleep (remember a few odd hours in between when I was awake but so dysfunctional and groggy) and so missed out on the weather.

but went out and got tasti and sat in the park with a friend and that was nice.

oh, and there was that part of the day where I saw something that made my heart ache just a little bit. not that much though. but yeah. this year has basically ended for me and now it's just a matter of waiting, waiting.

maybe I'll go to steinhardt for a bit and work on the new piece, before I lose it. I need coffee. Orens is closed, Jack's will be closed in 15 minutes, and that leaves me to..........dean&deluca. damnit. damnit damnit. Don't want to waste my money on d&d coffee. but it is necessary.

and am starting to realize how behind I am in work given I haven't done an ounce of it all weekend (what else is new) so let me indulge you in a little to-do list (you really don't have to read this, it's more for my cluttered brain)
- email advisor, set up meeting
- do research for internet project
- read five more ellison essays
- get don greene book, read through chap.4
- french
- politics reading
- african diaspora reading

shit. now I don't feel like going to steinhardt because I feel overwhelmed once again.
oh and the waves of "what the fuck was I thinking" are still ever so present. and they're more like tsunami waves, really.

hysterically quiet

the nyquil & wine combo is starting to kick in so this will be short

spent the day doing i don't know what at some point my brother came but for the most part i was asleep because i was so tired and then mike came and i recorded a song for his installation and then recorded 'benediction' on his little keyboard and mic and it sounds good and otherwordly/sunday mass and then we went to soup&burger and he paid for dinner because we were both being hysterical over the unfortunate milestone of my life

and I just want this year to end

stupidity is the name of the game

Went to bed ridiculously late. For a really bad reason. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Now I'm supposed to be in a film? Puffy eyes from allergies? 3 hours of pseudo-sleep?




I'm so stupid sometimes, FUCK.

edit: so yeah the film is basically going to be me being a spazzard and running around washington square park. running awkwardly since I was in my slippers. and...yeah. getting weird looks by people. cool.

colors of the wind

AIGHT HERE'S THE BREAKDOWN FOR YOU BITCHES:

spent the day being antisocial. i am liking nyu less and less although there are moments of cool stuff. hopefullly next year will be better because this year is ending like um...SHIT.

can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

so yeah i went to the 7x2 piano room in steinhardt with a starbucks mug full of wine (it helps the creative process) and some douchebag girl next door was apparently also a singer/songwriter and i could hear everything and suddenly i was like WHAT THE FUCK, IS NOTHING ABOUT ME ORIGINAL? everyone is a singer/songwriter these days, what the fuck. whatever. so that threw me off because her shit sounded like my shit and so it's like my shit is shit, you know? whatever i don't give a shit i'm drunk.

okay, so then a few of us went down to south st. and had dinner at this sketchy italian place where the middle eastern waiter wanted to go out and have drinks with us afterwards and they stayed open just for us and he was old and sketchy. and he ran out after we got into a cab and screamed something like WHAT ABOUT THE DRINKS?!?! and we laughed and i was freaked out.

i've had a lot of wine tonight.

i don't like nyu people, i don't. not the ones i know now. sorry if anyone is reading this. maybe you're an exception. maybe. but a lot of people here are douchebags, definitely. meeting some new people and they're cool but i thought people were cool at the beginning of the year and they turned out to be assholes. that's right, you turned out to be assholes. but there are some exceptions. maybe you're an exception. i can maybe name 5 exceptions.

i don't care. next year is a new start.

but WHAT THE FUCK, WHY DO PEOPLE SUCK? especially boys.

boys suck a LOT.






really. yeah. it's late and i'm going to be a movie tomorrow morning really really early and i need to shower and be clean and not hungover but um that's not happening. SHIT WHO FILMS A MOVIE AT 9 30 IN THE FUCKING AM. WE'RE IN COLLEGE. NO ONE GETS UP THAT EARLY.





FUCK! goodnight, i love you all. even if you're an asshole.

je suis fatigue

It has been a motherfucking long week. And it's finally over. Finally. Finally. Finally.

Was up late again last night, until around 5. My final paper is um....probably utter shit but I was too tired to proofread constructively so alas.

Will most certainly not be going out tonight for these reasons:
a.) this entry is sapping any remaining energy left in me
b.) am ridiciulously sore from jogging yesterday (of course)
c.) zzzzz............

okay. I was probably going to say other things but whatever. Sat in the park trying to read some Ellison essays but ended up people-watching for a good half an hour.

Need to shower... and...zzz.......

sweat?

It's the end of the world as we know it:


I WENT JOGGING.

no joke. ran to the hudson river with elena. and didn't pass out on the way, OR give up. so what if it was only a half hour jog, this is me we're talking about.
and the great thing is, as a result of this physical exercise, I feel somewhat healthy. ah--so this is what exercise does to you. amazing.

turn smile shift repeat

alright.


the past few days have kind of merged into one long day. last night, I hit up Bobst at around 5 pm. took a few breaks here and there, but ultimately was there for almost 12 hours, leaving at around 3. It was alright because Danielle and Billy were there for most of the time studying too, but goddamn. I've never been at the library to study, nonetheless stay there until 3 fucking am. (But we took a break at 2 am and went to get brie and stoned wheat thins. mmm) And then when I got back, I went down to the 2nd floor library in hayden to finish stuyding. I basically studied for 12 hours yesterday, not to mention the hours on sunday. for this one midterm.
so...yeah. we were saying that we didn't study this much even for the SATs. it was ridiculous. at least it's over.

the weather was absofuckinlutely gorgeous out so I sat in the park, almost got hit in the head by a wiffle ball, people-watched (it's a freak show in washington square park--really amusing)...after midterm, got tasti with elena mmmmmm. then teri was in the area so we hung out. got gray's, found a stoop on a cute sidestreet that reminded us of france. chilled.

and now I should start my essay but baah. baaaah, i say. nibbling on yakitori chicken from saints alp.

clarity

oh.
my.
god.



the day has been insane.



have been working through politics review for um. maybe almost 12 hours. with substantial breaks in between, but HOLY SHIT.
...and I still have so much left. what the hell? WHAT THE HELL?

went to le pain quotidien with danielle and billy at around 5...got nothing done because we were goofing off and eating tuscan platter. then went to library after le pain closed. worked until 9 30. took a break, got food. reviewed at 11. came back to hayden at 1 30. went to mcdonalds at 2. ate, felt disgusting, came back and did some reading.



AND NOW IT'S 4 AM? WHAT THE FUCK? good night.

extremely close and incredibly loud

I need to catch up on my Foer reading. Meaning, I really need to start reading some of his stuff.

Last night was...unproductive. I'll occasionally have these moments of complete shutdowns when faced with a mountain of work. I just can't bring myself to do it. This weekend, unfortunately, has been full of these shutdowns/denials. And I will pay dearly for it today, tonight, tomorrow, tomorrow night, and etc. until Thursday. It's going to be a fun week.

So right, last night I ordered in Chinese after getting back from the play. Watched 'Sex and the City', thank god the floor was quiet otherwise I would have gotten distracted. Did no schoolwork but tried to catch up with researching for my part-time job, which gets more and more annoying every day. I think part of the reason I'm extremely annoyed is the fact that I haven't been paid yet. At all. So...yeah.

Anyway, read an article about globalization in the Times Mag, and fell asleep. Thomas Friedman is a good writer but he acts like he's one of the horsemen predicting the apocalypse when he talks about globalization. It freaks me out.

Righto. Shower, and then work.

where was I at 2 am?

...That's a trick question since...it's 1 am now, but in an hour it will be 3 am. Goddamnit I can't afford losing an hour! I have too much to do.

Am completely fucked for politics and writing the essay. f-u-c-k-e-d. haven't done work this weekend, what have i been doing? nothing, nothing nothing nothing. argh!

Went to see a play tonight with Elena, "McReele"...the play itself was alright, but the best part was that the lead guy of Counting Crows--I think his name is Adam something--sat two rows behind us. I mean it's hard to miss him with that hair...didn't want to go up to him though since he was with his mother or something. And what would I say, "Hi, I arranged one of your songs for my a cappella group last year and I sang the solo"??? So yeah. But it was random and funny. I also was standing right next to him at the concession stand to get a $4 Poland Springs.

Fuck Fuck Fuck. So fucked.

sitting in the room, it's dark except for the laptop light. the lamp bulb is dead.

haven't been able to do work all day. even though i've never had so much. been on the verge of tears on and off but think have lost ability to cry.

you don't know me.

here comes the sun king

Here's the coffee-shop breakdown for you, going from numero uno to numero ew:
1.) Jack's Coffee - (W10th and Greenwich Ave) Everyone there is a regular. You walk in, it's tiny, people are sitting reading the paper or a book with their mellowed out dogs lying on the ground next to them. Their coffee is superb, and they put in the milk and sugar for you. Amazing biscotti and staff. Small Coffee - $1.65
2.) Oren's Daily Roast - (Waverly Place and...I don't know, the place across from Silver) Again, people are regulars but this is purely a get-your-coffee-and-go coffee place. But it's good coffee and they put in the milk for you. Small Coffee - $1.60
3.) Dean & Deluca - (University and 11th) It's a nice airy place to go and do work but not intimate at all, overpriced, and they don't even put the milk in for you. And a really small coffee is nearly $2.00.

oh and:
4.) Le Pain Quotidien - (8th and 5th ave) This place isn't a coffee shop so it's not valid but everything here is amazing. The food, the cappucinos. Everything. So this is my extraneous pick.

So, there you go. I don't know why I just did that, but hopefully it will come in handy for you someday. "You" meaning...Naima, since I dont' think anyone else reads this blog. Which is fine. But if you do read it regularly, leave a comment once in a blue moon, damnit!

It's okay I still love all of you. (Again, meaning Naima)

Woke up this morning, came over to my desk and found: fallen soldiers (aka half empty Newcastles) and cold pizza. With the pizza box lying on my chair and Mike sprawled on the ground in a sleeping bag. We watched Anchorman last night, I had never seen it.
"It smells like Big Foot's dick!" "Mmmmmmm..maaayyyooonaaiseee--asdfhf" I think Steve Carrell is hilarious, maybe even moreso than Will.

This was after going to Andrew's (my RA's) big dance concert. He's fucking amazing.




POLITICS REVIEW SESSION FOR MIDTERM IN AN HOUR AND TEN MINUTES AND I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT ANY OF THE QUESTIONS MEAN! YAY!