caramel apples & douchebags

I really wasn't cut out for serving food to people/experimenting with my patience for douchebag assholes.
Yesterday, I told a customer who was obviously not sober or mentally stable that he should "stop being so coked out."
...He didn't really appreciate that. But he was at least thirty years old, had braces, and couldn't string a sentance together. Not to mention he didn't have cash to pay for the food...so really, was I out of line? I didn't think so.

Anyway other than that I'm spending my days dancing around to music and amusing people by doing so. State fairs are fuckin fabulous.
I'll be back on the east coast on Saturday and it's so bizarre to think that next week I'll be starting classes; it really doesn't register in my mind.

They switched french teachers on me twice over the summer...if this new person turns out to be an ass like the time they switched my entire section into another conwest class that none of us signed up for...I'm going to have to kill someone. Just putting that out there, don't say I didn't warn you.

There's this caffeine drink called "Bawls." You can't imagine how many funny orders I get.
"Can I have some bawls"
"How much are the bawls"
"I need a couple of bawls/Can I get two bawls"
The list goes on. Oh, and the bottle is blue. Figure that one out.

I got the BBC version of Pride & Prejudice for $17 at Costco, the wholesale warehouse that is god's gift to mankind. When Teri was here, it was her first visit to Costco and I must say it was exciting. Mike, we saw thick flannel shirts on sale in red green and blue and thought about getting one for you because we thought you would actually wear it on a reg basis. So if you still want one tell me the color and size and I'll try to get it for you before I leave. I'm talking lumberjack flannel shirts. In mass quantities. How fuckin awesome.

By the way, our restaurant booth at the fair is across the street from the women's republicans booth and next to the libertarians booth that has signs posted saying "Equal Rights for Gun Owners." Oh and there's a pro-life booth and a bunch of Jesus Loves You booths. Can we get any more red state? Really now?

I'm so out of touch with the real world right now and it's awesome. Goddamn I'm going to be so out of whack for a few days when I get back.

I've had the beginning line for a new song stuck in my head for a few days but don't have a piano at hand to experiment with (nor the time), so it's driving me insane - I've just been humming it over and over. It's a form of water torture.

Anyway. I'm exhausted. See you back in the city.

pyramids are invincible, like me and you

The weather here is getting colder, the nights are getting longer. It's raining now and since I have the attic room, I'm being lulled to sleep by the dull patter of rain and radiohead.

Mike made a cover/back for Porcelain Jigsaw, and it is artgasmic. And you know what I realized? Pieces of Jade, Porcelain Jigsaw, same initials. Unintentional, purely coincidental.
I don't quite know what to make of coincidences. But I am inclined to think that they are meaningful.
I'd like to show you the cover but I'd like even more to keep it under wraps until it's all finished.

Teri and I have been on a Sex and the City marathon. Polished off Season Four in a day? Day and a half? Working on Season Five now. We (or at least I) have also been stuffing ourselves to oblivion with food. Did you know, koreans (maybe the japanese) have come up with little tiramisu cupcakes? Pre-packaged? Isn't it all just marvelous??

Yesterday we had another barbecue and we watched the moon rise over the lake (it rose so quickly, over the clouds) and its reflection on the water reached us, you could just lean over the lake and touch it and it would be like you were touching the moon - now isn't that just all sorts of lovely.

I'll be back in the city and perhaps even in the dorms in about 10 or 11 days. How bizarre - I can't imagine the transition. From the here and now, nestled in my bed listening to the silence and feeling the enormous sky blanketing everything...to the there and then...back in an extra long twin bed listening to the garbage trucks weave in between the narrow and creaking asphalt streets of the city.
But life is good, right? I can do this, I think.


By 'this,' I don't exactly know what I mean yet.

empty saturday mornings

Soooo, Teri's here!

Let me paint the tableau for you: she's still asleep on her side of the bed, I'm sitting up typing away on my side of the bed, the birds are chirping, it's sunny.
Basically, "we're such an old married couple." Which is what she said a little while ago when she was awake for a split second. And it's true. We are.

Oh, and the awkward moments in public that only occur when we're together have already started to take place. Just like clockwork. What can I say, we're awkward magnets.

Anyway. More updates/pictures later. The bro is arriving at midnight tonight.

un jour comme un autre (really)

So, another day. Happens to be my birthday, but my family has always been so lax about these so called special days. Which is fine, I only get self-conscious when people make a fuss over me anyway.
But it's funny, because when I signed online a while ago (it was past midnight on the east coast but not in AK), I got some random IMs from people who I hadn't spoken to since...well, since my last birthday. And they probably only knew it was my birthday from thefacebook. It's nice and all, I suppose....but more than that, it's just a false sense of security and friendship, which isn't so nice.

But who am I to be complaining on my birthday.
I just got back from the airport where we dropped off two of our guests (dad's friend & wifey); I've only known them for two weeks but they feel like family and I miss them already. They're the extroverted, flashy, funny type who spoil me and make me laugh, so naturally I adore them. And they love it here so much that they're thinking about moving here, huzzah!
Anyway, on the way back from the airport, it was dark (egads! dark, in alaska?! sacrilige!!) and my dad pulled over the car on the highway. So we immediately jumped out and looked up into the night sky. He pulled over in a section of the highway that didn't have lamps on the side so it really was dark, save the few headlights that sped by every once in the while.

And you know, in most other places, you see the night sky and some stars scattered here and there. Here, I saw stars & stars & stars, and a little bit of night sky somewhere in between. It was breathtaking; I saw the Milky Way, the Big Dipper...it was cold enough to see your own breath, too. The only other time I've seen stars like this was back in Yellowstone Park, I think. Years ago.
And as the four of us, my parents, the lone houseguest, and I, stood there gaping - my dad started singing Happy Birthday, and my mom hugged me close, and I had a huge, dopey grin on my face. That was enough of a present for me, that moment.

Ooh, and on the way to the airport, a patch of the sky was this crazy shade of opal....and below it, some clouds...and then under THAT, the sky was tangerine. Opal and tangerine sky...maybe that'll be in a new song. I have a chord progression stuck in my head, Am7..DMaj..C....F...I'll work on it tomorrow.

So okay, here's the thing:
I've been here for about two weeks, and this is usually when I start to get extremely bored and wish I was back in the city. But this time it's a little different - mostly due to the guests - but I'm starting to understand why people love it here so much. The batch of friends/family that my parents have had over are the most down to earth group of people, and I feel so incredibly comfortable around them...which, given the language barrier and such, is rare. It's the kind of comfort that comes from lots of laughing, good food, and the lack of superficiality that permeates manhattan. And don't get me wrong, that superficiality is partly why I love the city so much, but alaska is such the polar opposite - or at least, my dad's friends are. These are people who seem to know my parents better than even I know them, and they're so optimistic I sometimes can't take them seriously.
And so I'm starting to see the appeal...the escapism factor, isolating yourself with good people and good food in a place that's stilll relatively untouched by everything. I used to be afraid of isolation, but I mean...where I live isn't the middle of nowhere, and it's not icky monotonous suburbia either, but rather an interesting medium. I never thought I'd be saying any of this, by the way.

The one guest left (for now) is becoming one of my favorite people. At first he seemed introverted and shy and quiet, and.....well, he actually is all of those things, but he still manages to get the biggest laughs out of everyone, including myself; he's the eternal optimist and one of the most kindhearted and genuinely good people I've ever met/ever will meet; and he intentionally tells me corny jokes and stories to get me to laugh, because according to him I need to laugh more; he even showed me a slideshow of his trip to McKinley, explaining everything from how to build an igloo to where/how climbers respond to mother nature's call up there on the mountain. I just had to rave about this guy because I absolutely adoooore him. He's adorable.

Speaking of McKinley, I'm becoming obsessed. All of these first hand accounts/pictures/seeing it for myself on the plane....I'm afraid I'm going to get bit by the climber's bug. And of course I'll never be able to summit or anything, but apparently non-climbers can get up to Camp 3 pretty easily, just to ski or snowboard down. I did not know this.
So, who wants to come to McKinley with me? B.Y.O.S (S = ski/snowboard/sled. just kidding about the sled...but how awesome would it be to sled down Mt. McKinley, criiiikey!)

Have to get up early to go to the airport once again, this time to pick up two new guests...and Teri's coming in on Friday, my brother on Saturday. I might as well pitch a tent outside the airport and live there. So goodnight.

Love,the girl who got caught turning away from the camera
(goddamnnn - is my hair really that brown?!)

p.s - if you really want to know where/how they poop up on McKinley, just ask.

war and (some) peace

my eyes were really puffy this morning. obvious reasons. okay maybe not so obvious; last night i had one of those meaningful talk/fight/cries with my parents. you know, the ones that make you realize how selfish and ungrateful you are, etc. right. what i mean to say is, i'd like to be a better person. you know - to my parents, to people in general. mmkay that didn't sound cheesy or anything. pfft. sigh.

anyway. that was that. i'm turning nineteen in a few days. debating whether i want to go have a picnic on a glacier, or go to the mountains and hike around and then go to the little restaurant and have fondue or something. i don't know. i dont' really care. nineteen, shmineteen. but my dad's friend bought me a pretty sea-foam glass necklace today at an open market. huzzah.

also, alaska thrift stores are frightening. but supremely interesting all at once.

rented casablanca and war and peace and watched them both yesterday. humphrey bogart and mel ferrer; two men who don't seem to have any sex appeal in stills, but on the screen it's something different. i can kindofsortof begin to see what audrey hepburn saw in mel (he was her first husband) although he turned out to be an ass. audrey is adorable in war and peace. scarily skinny, as per usual, but oh well.

yeah umm...so. yeah.
not to be melodramatic, but my life is kind of on the verge of unraveling completely and that kind of freaks me out. no one reading this has any idea of what's really going on and i don't really plan on telling, but it feels like everything is hanging on a thread. and...argh. never mind. i'm really frustrated about this lack of control over my future, that's all.

last night (when it was still light out), i took my brother's bike and raced around - it felt absolutely glorious. there were no cars on the road (obviously) and i let my hair down and the wind was delicious as i weaved the bike around. and when i was going downhill i let go of the handlebars and felt like a little girl and wanted to yell "look mom, no hands!"
i didn't feel stale, and that felt good.


i can't believe i haven't taken the time to sit outside at night and look at the stars yet. that's the plan for tonight. that, and the wine thats been sitting there for a few days. i mean, someone has to finish it.


p.s, the pictures are from over the past few days/past week. captions: Long Lake, AK...tiny organic vegetable stand...harbor in Seward, AK...tiny pool of glacier water.

oy!

All of that effort posting pictures, and nobody comments. Well, poo on you all.

....Syyyyyke!! (sp?!) I'm not as dependent on comments anymore (or so I tell myself I don't need the validation. [sniff]). I remember the days when I used to threaten Stan to give me eprops. And he would ignore me. Pffffft.


ANYWAY. The rest of the fam (including friends) have settled down to watch some korean drama that looks like it was taped with a camcorder. So surprise surprise, I opted out and chose updating the blog over enduring some really bad acting. Even if they're talking in korean, I know bad acting when I see it.

It's funny, my dad's friends think I'm this near-mute girl since I barely say two words when I'm around them. And it's usually when I'm responding to something they said. They're fun people, but my korean is stunted at the fourth grade level so I'd just rather not speak instead of opening my mouth only to sound like I'm slow. On top of that, I'm schlepped out to the max here; no makeup, and I only packed uber comfortable clothing, which incidentally makes me look like a deflated pumpkin. So you add all of that together, and I'm probably giving off a not so pleasant impression. They were talking about some friend's daughter who just graduated from Parson's and who knew all of the latest fashions and all of the designers' names, and then kind of gave me this "unlike youuuu" glance. It's just amusing. I'll humor them with my mountain child charade.

I mean, for chrissakes we're in the middle of nowhere, who am I trying to impress. Although when it gets to the point where I look frumpy when compared to the townsfolk, I'll know to bring the bum couture down a notch. (Because the townsfolk here....[WOMP WOMP])

Anyyywaaay. I'm sitting outside on on the deck looking over the lake, the weather is parfait,the mountains are purple since the sun is slowly setting (it's almost 10 pm here) and I've decided that clean air is the next designer drug. I'm really beginning to notice the difference in air quality, and I must say, me likey. I have half the mind to bottle up some of this air and walk around the city with an oxygen mask on at all times; it's that good.

I've been driving again. And I haven't done anything stupid yet, so...go me.

Also, I have luckily been able to not get any mosquito bites yet. This is, quite frankly, a miracle.

[knock on wood]

Also, I have not so luckily gained an unholy amount of weight from all of the GODDAAMN FOOD. WHAT IS IT WITH FAMILY FRIENDS AND THEIR OBSESSION WITH STUFFING AS MUCH FOOD AS THEY CAN INTO MY SYSTEM?!
...and it's rude to flat out refuse, yes?

And alas, I am the walrus. And I'm not just referencing the beatles' song.

wish i had aviators

The purpose of this post isn't really to entertain anyone; it's a bit more selfish, really. I just want to keep a record of things, etc. So if this seems dry and uninteresting, tough. I'm uploading pictures, isn't that enough (I'm technologically impaired, remember?)?!!
Started the day off by visiting the Iditarod headquarters...dad happens to know some interesting people here, and Joe Redington Jr happens to be one of them. Joe Redington Jr. is the son of -- you guessed it -- Joe Redington Sr, who started the whole Iditarod race shindig. He's a nice old man. Everyone here is so goddamn friendly (and slightly closeminded/really shocked to see asians who aren't tourists & speak english). While we were there the sun came out so we hauled ass an hour and a half up to Talkeetna to take a charter plane up to McKinley. I got to ride for free, huzzah. It's usually $250/person or something. But again, another one of my dad's friends here happens to be the manager of the air services, so that might have helped; that, and the fact that after we've brought so many customers to their place, asking us to pay would be downright ass. Oh, and I got to be co-pilot, WHAAAT. We got to wear those bitchin headsets, and for half of the trip we needed oxygen masks since we were above 12,000 ft or something. So we circled the North and South Summits of McKinley; there were clouds scattered, but it made it even more beautiful. I felt slightly sick on the way down but made it back without having to utilize the air sickness bag, woot. After getting off the plane, we visited the local cemetary where a lot of climbers have been buried. One of them being a very close family friend who was actually living with us when he took an expedition up McKinley and died from hypothermia. I was seven years old when that happened, and that was when my parents had to try and explain "death" to me...they kind of glossed over details, naturally. I heard the actual story today, in full detail, when my dad was recounting it for his friends...hearing it for the first was somewhat unnerving, since this man had been kind of an older brother/uncle figure when I was growing up. So it was meaningful to go back and visit his grave. Also visited the Talkeetna Ranger Station; all the rangers hadn't seen me since I was a little girl, so we went through the whole "my god you're grown up, how's college, how's new york, do you miss alaska" repartee. (To which I answered "I know, Great, Fantastic, Sometimes") Then we headed back down home after walking around Talkeetna for a bit (I had some kickass "mountain pie," i.e. pizza); but first we stopped by the Talkeetna Lodge for coffee, and my dad and his friend regaled us with their own crazy mountain climbing stories. It's like a whole part of my dad's life that I feel like I don't know, but from what his friend was saying, he seems to have been a really crazy guy back in the day. I heart my dad. Anyway, came back down to Wasilla and had one of our trademark barbecues down by the lake. Anytime we have guests over, we have one of these barbecues, with steak and rice and corn and other good things. It's great. I eat so goddamn much. Mom forgot to bring the wine, but all was well. I've been going crazy with the camera. Also, I think I need to go on a food strike or something because I feel like I'm blowing up, as blimps do. The sun goes down around 11 30 pm these days.

take me home, country road

Just to clarify: I don't hate flying THAT much. But I really, really despise long flights. By the time I got off the plane last night, I had been so fidgety and restless I thought I was going to claw my own eyes out, from sheer frustration.
Anyway.
I thought I was going to have some alone time with the rents, but two of my mom's friends, and two of my dad's friends flew in yesterday as well. So yeah...but it's fine. My mom's friend is this tiny little woman from California who seems so demure...and then yesterday at dinner she starts telling stories about the roadtrips she took back in the 60's or 70's or whatever, and how she saw Elvis in concert and chilled in greenwich village, etc. Totally unexpected coming from this woman, but that made it even funnier.

Today, went with my dad and guests to sight-see and whatnot...and I've seen all of these places countless times before, but it's just so refreshing to be back here. I mean, I love the city like nothing else, but I'm beginning to really appreciate the fact that I can call Alaska "home"...and the time spent away from this place makes me realize how much the annual/bi-annual pilgrimage back here means to me. I took this picture on the drive to Anchorage this morning; it's drizzling and chilly here, so the clouds hanging low were nice.

I thought this was funny; driving through this slummish area in the city, really unglamorous (i.e - any part of "urban" alaska, really. Nothing about Anchorage is glamorous. But this part of town was a little more disheveled)-- I look up and see that I'm on Hollywood Drive. Nice. (I especially like the fact that there's a beat-up RV right behind the sign)

We went to a "Potter's Marsh," a little boardwalk that runs over, well, a marsh. Today we saw a ginormous salmon swim up...the biggest I've ever seen, over 3 ft long...they swim up there to die or something. I dont' know. It looked like it could have swallowed me whole. And yeah there weren't many fish in general, but there were ducklings, and those are always cute to see, aren't they?
It was kind of a miserable day, weather-wise, so we did a lot of driving and pointing and "ooh"-ing at the scenery. Went to the museum in Anchorange, where they had some impressionist paintings on loan from the Met, hah. That was a weird moment of bridging the two worlds. Saw some really incredible Native-American art though (and Mike, I took some pictures of some installations I thought you might like, I'll email them to you) And also watched some half-hour long, cracked out Russian documentary in the auditorium. Part of me was thinking that art/film kids would really love it because it was so fucking abstract and bizarre, and then the other part of me was thinking it was probably just a cracked out documentary. (Mike, everything about that museum made me think of you; I'm definitely taking you there when you visit.)
Taking pictures from the car, as it speeds and bumps its way along the road at a relatively fast speed, is not that fun. But I managed to snag a few shots on the drive back home, including this one:

And speaking of home, I'll conclude this handy dandy picture tour of Alaska with some shots from around the exterior of the house:





















So that's all I got, bishes. For now, at least. But right now, the karaoke machine downstairs beckons. P.S, a lot of effort went into this entry, with all of those goddamn pictures. I'm feeling pretty winded. So leave some love, or else you don't get a souvenir (And my souvenir, I mean one of those moose turd lollipops that Alaskans are famous for).
Adios, muchachos.

Miss Everyone But Am Jumping For Fucking Joy For Being Away From Humidity,

aeroplane tunes

Before I go, I leave you with my airport mix:

Pre-Boarding/Take-Off
1. Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours - Stevie Wonder
2. Blinded By The Light - Manfred Mann
3. If I Ever Feel Better - Phoenix
4. Southbound - Allman Brothers
5. 1, 2 Step - Ciara
6. Baby Britain - Elliot Smith
7. Demons - Guster
8. Mo Money - Puffy feat. Mase
9. Tequila Sunrise - Eagles
10. Sorry I Am - Ani DiFranco
11. Thank You - Alanis Morissette

See you in AK!

chocolate fudge brownie

Ben & Jerry really hit the mark with that one. I told Naima I wanted to be buried with a pint of it, it's that good. I still love Half Baked...but this is just...beyond.

I really fuckin wanted to see Dave in concert, but found out about his concert dates too late. Arggghhh. I still have yet to see him live, and it's killing me. Slowly but surely.
MUST. SEE. DAVE. LIVE.
He's just such a great reference when it comes to unique musicianship. I used to not be a fan, but I blame the radio stations for overplaying "Crash Into Me," because that's what really turned me off. But then I really listened, and he's just great. Brilliant.

Saw Naima today and previewed the new pieces for her; her enthusiasm did a good number on my confidence. And after a long chat about forked paths and such, I've decided that I'm really going to give this music thing a go (because in the end, I wasn't born a pragmatist, I was born a romantic idealist). When I get back from AK, it'll be hardcore recording and sending demos out to as many labels as I can find. And if I get absolutely no response from any of them...then I don't know.
I'll probably be very sad from the rejection and might give up for a while. So let's all cross our fingers and hope that someone out there likes my music.

Pow-wowed with my suitemate Kelsey while talking to Elena on the phone. After a long Q&A session, it seems like we should get along fairly well; they don't seem really anal or bitchy or dirty. In fact, they -- well, at least Kelsey -- seem nice. And Kelsey apparently is really into nail art and is willing to give me and Elena free manicures. She specializes in cheetah/zebra/flower patterns. And has special Halloween/Christmas patterns as well.
...Part of me is laughing, and part of me just doesn't know how to react. Well, whatever man, FREE MANICURES! (I hope she also specializes in normal, solid colors like mauve)

Oh and what began as a joke is turning into the real deal: Elena and I are going to bring Daisy (her 6 ft stuffed animal giraffe) to the dorm. I remember when she got it for her birthday a few years ago...some of the guys apparently ran around the city toting it around...sneaking it into her room behind her back was difficult; it's 6 ft tall, for chrissakes. Woot. We're planning on bringing it to the dorm via subway and walking around the village with it propped on our shoulders. Huzzah! That should be interesting, to say the least.

And yay for my Colette library, which Naima contributed to! I now have 5 different Colette books/collections in my possession. But I like to think that one can't have enough Colette. Or books in general, for that matter.