woman of heart and mind

All this talk about holiness now
It must be the start of the latest style
Is it all books and words
Or do you really feel it?

First warm summer night, and these are always meant to be cherished. They're special for me because I don't experience them very often, being in Alaska for most of the summer, where nights get chilly. I sauntered home at a slower pace than usual (and if you know my normal warlking pace, you know that 'sauntering' means barely walking at all) taking in the night air. Clean cut grass, the noise of clinking silverware drifting out of open windows...I was almost close to being at peace with that odd moment of suburban tranquility. Then I saw a skunk, yelped, and ran home.

So much for suburbia.


Didn't make it to the Sondre Lerche show, thanks to the L train not running this weekend.
sigh.

So, hung out with Jamie instead. Sat outside at a restaurant, ordered wine and talked, people-watched. Billy met up with us, he's in the city for the night. Basically chilled with them and then headed back uptown.

Disturbing experience on the train: a homeless man walks down the car and sits down inches away from me, mumbling to himself. I had music blasting in my ears so I just decided to ignore him. Mmmm, BAD IDEA. The people across from him got up and sat somewhere else, I guess he was being offensive. So then I'm assuming he's yelling, either at me, other people in the car--I wasn't really looking at him. Then he decides to stretch himself out on the three seater, and I'm sitting in the two-seater that's perpendicular to where he is. So now, I'm starting to get uncomfortable with his feet RIGHT next to me, and decide to switch cars at the next stop. I see his mouth moving, I'm assuming he's still saying something to me, whatever, couldn't hear it. I'm looking away, looking away, but then I look over and see his hand in his pants.

I was at the other end of the car before you could say "THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING, YO"




Yeah. Anyway. I don't even want to know what he was saying all that time.

Am exhausted. Early night, perhaps.

I realized that some NYU friends think I'm capable of being a supreme bitch behind their backs (one or two people in particular). Sad, because these are my friends.
Friends? or "Friends"?
And how juvenile is it that I need to be having this inner debate of "who my friends really are"; this is college, I thought I was supposed to be finding lifelong companions. Damn cliches, reality is never what they tell you to expect.
Or maybe I just live in a twilight zone where subway trains and ipods are trying to sabotage my life, and where "Friends" is only a hit sitcom.


Disclaimer: Honestly, I have so many amazing people in my life and shouldn't be complaining. But I can't help but be bothered when I get the feeling that I blind myself from reality a little too often, and that some people are just not what I figured them to be.